Send me a tought

Todays Themesong: Fiction8 - Let Go.
(Press their name to go to their myspace page, let that song play in background while reading.)
It's time to open the zipper, see clear.
It's time to stop crying, seize the lying.
This world, this I will tell.
Still ends up as my hell.

Wherever I fell and land.
Every thing just ran out in the sand.
Lost grip on life, away it ran.

Empty faces, empty rooms.
Empty souls that cry for the moon.
Slithering feeling destroying my spine.
Still wish that she still where mine.
Longing there was more to this.
Just one more last kiss.

Shadow captured my heart.
Made it oh, so dark.
Corrupt my values.
Made me fall into sin.
There was no way I could win.

The question I ask myself now;
Is there anything worth saving from it all?
Will I ever be able to stand tall?

Am I to lost to be saved from this?
Am I to lost to be saved from this?
Someday you will come home.
Rescue me from this tomb.
Before i succumb.

//Jezz 2008-07-18

---

This might be something from a bad dream. I struggle to sleep, but I know that when I wake up, everything is still as usual. Everything is still sucks.
Yes I hide, still have to, don't ask me why, as long as you're not in the same shoes as me, you are in no state to question this, you can't understand anyway. This life is a must for now, don't know for how long. I Just want this time to go fast so I finally can find 'you' and get my life in motion again. Somehow that just feels impossible right now, but deep within I know things will be solved sometime in the future.. Tho I hate the wait, cant stand being alone, the shadows consumes, devours me hole, just sit in my "cave" feeling like "Gollum".. Still haven't found out what my precious is tho, perhaps my computer? Haha :-)
Still there's one option, one choice.. No it's not suicide - I would never do such a thing. Can't give those assholes that satisfaction, if they once called me an angel, well now my hoofs have grown, my horns have shown themselves and can someone pain my face red to complete the illusion? Anyway, it's what people think of me now. At least the one's who don't know the real story.
No back to the real issue, I got a choice, and it's to neglect a part of me, but that wont solve anything, it wont allow me to be me. So when I think of it, it's rely not an option since it can lead me further into the abyss.

They say, "Don't fear the reaper"...

I Don't. However... Don't want to waste my time being alone. Wasted to much already... :-(

Over & out //Jezz