Make Me Sleep

Make Me Sleep

There's no other way to say this.
But you sank your teeth in me,
you stole my soul.
Bled me dry,
made me cry.
All I ever wanted,
was to see you happy.
I't seemed so at first.

With tears like an angel,
both pretty & sad.
She was the beautiful one.
But with her hungry eyes she told me lies.
Now make me sleep.

I Offered you my hand.
Only to loose everything I had.
Just wanted to hold you,
untill time stops again.
But now I'm lost out here,
forever this time.

Since I lost my soul,
I cannot feel love again.

That you ever could make me sleep.
That you ever could make me weep
With tears like an angel.
Both pretty & sad.
She was the beautiful one.
But with her hungry eyes she told me lies.
Now make me sleep.
Make me sleep.
Make me sleep.
Sleep.


//Jezz 20080331

(Img from Julia Jeffrey (couldn't find a way to contact you to ask for your permission to publish, but I hope it's ok)).

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I Don't know where to go anymore, feels like I'm walking blind down a small lonely road. That's why I haven't updated the blog in quite some while. Sorry people, right now I just don't got enough energy, I feel completely drained of life. All I want is to brake this spiral. As for now, it just feels like I've struck rock bottom.
Like a desert, all dry and empty. No life in sight. Awaiting rain, so life can grow again.

Ukulele Orchestra of GB - The Good the Bad the Ugly



That will be all for now //Jezz

The Trolls

The Trolls
Our life's wont end.
We move in the dark.
Inside your world.
From the stories you heard.

Feel us in mind.
We scratch inside.
Shed us no tears.
No one cares.

-
We exist to protect.
The world you neglect.
Sit close to me.
They might set us free.
-

We're the forgotten.
Hide in the night.
We'll continue to fight.
To scratch & bite

Screams and fear.
Were always near.
Come and care.
If you dare.

-
We exist to protect.
The world you neglect.
Sit close to me,
they might set us free.
-

You lie in your bed.
With trolls in your head.
You're allready dead.
Nothing more siad.

They feed on your pain.
Evil to gain.
Mess with your brain.
You're left in the rain.


-Jezz 2008.03.19

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Will have this song recorded with some help, if you're lucky I'll post a link to it here.
This will be all for now. //Jezz

Sawdust

"Look at you over There, Ripping the Sawdust from my Teddybear"
- Alice Cooper

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Sawdust
In this sleepless night.
All I wish is to hold you thight.
Cuddle close, I woun't bite.
Say you will, atlest say you might.
Be with me, in this forsaken night.

Heavy thoughts could my mind.
Hope it all will heal with time.
I wish you will be that kind.
That in your hart, you will find.
To forgive my horrible crime.

You found me in your dreams.
But you didn't love me as deep it seems.
Now I face an eternal fight.
With no hope left in sight.
All of these sleepless nights.

I'm off to my eternal flight.

My love.
Sawdust.
My love.

-Jezz 2008-03-17

So tired

So tired of this all.
One minute it's all there,
the next there's nothing more.
Always a struggle.
To keep my chin over the water.
Yet something keeps pulling me down.
An endless fight.
An endless war.
Yet life seems to be to far.

I Have no energy this week, sleep sleep, work work, sleep sleep, work work.. It never ends. Can't get out of bed in time so that I can update my blog, nor to do any household things that badly needs to be done, cleaning, washing and so on. It's am ess here. And I don't like it..
Still wonder where all my energy went? Felt at the end of last week like I was starting to gain some, but now it's all lost again. It's a mystery.
Well, no time to write more, have to leave for work..

Over & out // Jezz

Mesmerize

I'm lost without your love sorrounding my soul.
I'm lost without your presence here with me.
I'm lost without your smile towards me.
I'm lost without your eyes looking my way.
I'm lost without your hair through my hands.
I'm lost without your skin next to mine
Ether way I try or do, I'm still lost without you.

-Jezz 20080311

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I'm so tired of this feeling inside. Tired of it all. Nothing will ever be the same, I know that. But that it would bee my fault wasn't planned or my intention. Somehow I always screw things up for myself. Why, oh why? Things just keep on repeating. Over and over again. With the horrible pain fallowing in my path. This empty soul, needs to be full.. I'm doubting that it will ever be filled, not with my luck...
With my luck, I'd just have to settle for a small cottage deep inside the woods. Alone, betrayed & depressed.
Can't lie anymore. Cant deny it ether.. I need someone, just dont know where to find her, whoever she is.

Over & out, //Jezz

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Blutengel - A Little Love


Lyrics:

Feeling like a little child.
Crying out for his mother.
I'm sitting here alone,
And i miss you so much.
The funny thing is,
I don't know who you are.
This feeling inside,
Will slowly kill me,
Someday..
I don't know when,
This feeling will go away.
I wash away my tears,
'Cause I don't want nobody to see me cry.
I can't help myself,
As long as I don't know who you are.
This empty space inside my soul,
Is the place for you.
But I realise in every night,
It will be empty forever.

I just want to feel a little love someday..

Wishing

Plummeting downards.
No where in sight.
Lost the will to fight.
The night prevailed,
covered my life in shadow.

Wish there could be,
any love in this life.
Yet sorrow holds my heart,
filling it with despise.

Flashes of hope.
Neglect my thoughts.
Crimson colored.
Always in my heart,
she was my only thought.

Wish there could be,
any love in this life.
Yet sorrow holds my heart,
filling it with despise.

Flashes of searing pain.
Needles flowing through veins.
A beating heart
Pulsating in the dark.
More machine,
then anything.

I Miss you my love,
whoever you are.
Just wish I knew,
who could love me?
There are indeed,
way to few.

-Jezz 20080310

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The Crüxshadows - Dragonfly


Lyrics:

"Don't ask me to surrender"
Her voice fell tired and spent
"My hopes and dreams, a silent heart
I carry here within"

her outstretched wings, left tattered
A sail aged with rust
"a breath in time, that's yours and mine...
it belongs to only us."

And I will write her name and cast it to the sky
silhouettes recede into a mother's tearful eyes
a host of angels clamor to her side
a light dissolves to kiss the wind,
release the dragonfly.

See the rose within the field of white
She's searching for the grail
but the rain descends to snatch the light
from distant dying suns
a faint resounding in the night
calls angels wings to beat
singing silent lip-sewn songs
but the distance is too deep...

And I will write her name and cast it to the sky
silhouettes receded into a mother's tearful eyes
a host of angels clamor to her side
a night dissolved to kiss the wind
release the dragonfly

And I will write her name and cast it to the sky
as precious moments will slip away in time
angels fall from grace, and sometimes heroes die
but tonight, my love, ascend the gates,
release the dragonfly

sometimes angels fall, but love will never die
"tonight my soul is something more" -
calls the dragonfly."

Speechless & Blind

Speechless and blind, thoughts screaming in my mind.

Remember never to do this one more time.
Always hurts more when it's a crime.

Will not fall into this trap again, need to keep sane.
She was a demon who kept me trapped with pain.
Nothing will ever be the same again.

Speechless and blind, thoughts screaming in my mind.

All I wish is that i could make it all rewind.
Try it all over just one more try.

Just want someone the help me with my life.
Perhaps even to be my wife?
Still no one have heard my cries.

-Jezz 2008.03.07

In this case, the beast killed the beauty. Unfortunately.. Time will tell if the beast only killed another beast to create a beauty. The story will go on.

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LAB - Beat The Boys

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Over & Out // Jezz

Strange

This could be me... If I was pretty that is.. But still close.. Like the blue hair color. Brings out the eyes more. If it was possible.
I Feel.... Something... Don't know what it is yet.. Will try to find out.. Is there someone out there that sends me energy that I do not know off? I'm not used to this, so be careful. - Or in another case, it might just be my searing back pain that's worse then usual projecting pain through my weakened soul.

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Sweet nothing.
Then I See her face,
only to be gone without a trace.
Empty memories,
empty faces.
Everywhere I go there's fences.

Angry men pointing, laughing.
Telling me to go places.
Depressed and tired,
I only stare at their stupid faces.

She crawled inside my brain,
there you will remain.
Untill I'm finally sane.
Free of all this pain.

-Jezz 2008.03.06


Over & out for mow, sleep well.. I know I wount.. //Jezz

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Pain Ever Come

I Stare at your grace, your beloved appearance,
as we catch eye contact just for a second.
I Fill with devoted emotions.
I Want to know what it feels like being your's.
To be held in your arms, held in your heart.
Various feelings, like my inside wants to explode.
Don't want to loose what it might have become.

Pain ever come.
Can not heal, cannot seek,
devotion, emotion.
Searing pain running through my veins.
Closing in on my heart, pushing, aching.

Sense you, sense you madly.
You're so far, far away. I Barly see your shadowy figure.
I Reach out trying to grab something that's not there.
Broken... through my tears..
Flowing like a waterfall down my cheeks,
forever, never to stop.
How can I get you closer?

- Jezz 080304

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Here's another lyric:

Absurd Minds - Silence (Can Be Faithful)
Remembering the time i was a fool,
I was a victim of a virus.
The past turns to present once a year.
Now i can hear you,
I can see you. you`re so nice.
I feel the poison in my veins.
It makes my blood boil. you`re so fine.
I wanna kiss you, i wanna touch you.

I wanna touch you, my girl. the silence can be fateful.
Where is the key to your feelings, i never knew.
Wild emotions are locked in,
They can`t break out of me.
I`m paralyzed with fear. however,
Silence can be fateful.

You don`t know the question,
So i cannot get the answer.
And you don`t know my wishes,
You don`t know my hopeful dreams.
The past turns to present once a year.
Now i can hear you,
I can see you. you`re so nice. you`re so sweet.
You`re so fine.

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Another Quote the lst "Absurd Minds" lyric posted, 'Septic': "If I was a winner, I wouldn't have failed"
No argues there. True... True...

It's strange, I feel a presence.. A link of some sort, to someone.. Don't know who.. A strange feeling.. Whoever you are.. Come take my heart, before it's lost within myself. Before I loose myself into something bad. Before I loose control if it all. I'm going completely mad when I have to live like this, without all meaning, without a hope.

Over & out //Jezz

Tear You Apart

Don't rely know what to write today.. I'm dead tired, but generally & strangely in good spirit. Or not as "heavy minded" as usual.. I Don't know how to describe it rely.. Today I think I will take some inspiration from my new found friend Jessi, and make a list of some of the women I admire. Not necessarily in order:

Jezz's Top 5 Female Preformers:

1. Sharon Den Adel - Singer of the band Within Temptation.. Wonderful voice & stage performance.

2. Emilie Autumn - Singer & music writer. Brilliant girl!

3. Sara Noxx - Singer & writer, she has a quite unique way to write/sing. Essexx - one of the projects she's part of.

4. Liv Kristine - Former singer of the band "Theatre Of Tragedy", released an solo album and created a 'new' band "Leave's Eyes". Heavenly voice.

5. Jessicka Fodera - Founder of "Jack Off Jill" and "Scarling". No words can describe her.

There are more, but that's another list.. For another day..

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She Wants Revenge - Tear You Apart

Damn That Lie

Suddenly it struck me.. I've been lying to everyone I've ever met, ever knew.. Even my closes friends & family.. It's not a bad lie in some ways, but the hard part is now to tell, without loosing any more friends.. Want to gain more "new" friends.. Not that the one's I've got are bad, it's just that many of them are hard to speak with since they live in the other side of the world, time difference makes communication way to late sometimes wich makes my already messed up life more messed up.. :-(
Not your fault, It's just as mentioned, I don't got any other to speak with.. And I enjoy talking with you, the time difference aren't any of us fault. So don't worry about that please? Here's a pic for you :-P


Before I had many people to talk to all around the world, now there's just a few of them left due to the change from ICQ to MSN (dang Microsoft).. To many are lazy and don't install ICQ when they have reinstalled or bought new computer.. Lost many good internet friends that way, will always be missed - R.I.P.. Some are still there, and I want to keep them, I love those buggers even if I've never met most of them, and just talk by text. It's still almost the only communication that I have with other humans these days.. Yes my life is miserable at the moment. But you guys and girls makes it all worthwhile, never forget that. *hugs*

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This is usually where I post a song, but this time it can't be found on youtube, or any other site I've searched.. Therefore I will just give you the lyrics, listening to the song will be left to you, if you can find it.

Absurd Minds - Septic
Like a flower in the desert
The only beauty within miles
She attracts all men's attention
A perfect sweety spending smiles

And I have lost myself in her
What's left of me ain't worth to mention
All my life is missin' in action
I loved myself through her affection

There's nothing else to share
I was awake but not aware
Strategic leader of my senses
This mindwar builds the highest fences

She's my eyeball turning blind
She's a care-actress on the love-set
She's the drug that rapes my mind
She is the poison I can't hate

Septic honey on my bread
Septic thoughts spin through my head
Septic baby in my bed
Septic, bad, worse, dead
Vom Gift deiner Lenden übersäht
I only wanted love instead

I see you, I hear you, but I don't feel you nomore
I am willing to behave
Could you like me without fear
I'm prepared to be your slave
Bleibst du für immer bei mir ?

A sudden end to my desire
I simply reflect your light & fire
Still I don't shine if you don't shine
Lies burn my love - ich bin so klein

We're so close in distance
And yet so far in thought
Sin in itself does not make sense
Wo auch immer Liebe droht
She's my eyeball turning blind
She's a care-actress on the love-set
She's the drug that rapes my mind
She is the poison I can't hate

Septic honey on my bread
Septic thoughts spin through my head
Septic baby in my bed
Septic, bad, worse, dead
Vom Gift deiner Lenden übersäht
I only wanted love instead


I see you, I hear you, but I don't feel you nomore

I don't want to be nailed
To anyone's cross
If I was a winner, I wouldn't have failed
If I wasn't lovemad, I could take the loss

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Is there anything else? Well, this is me, saying good night, good fight.. Life's always a struggle.. Over & out. //Jezz