As always

As always I cry an angels bloody tears. Never will I know how or why the words scars my throat. My grinding thoughts keep my awake at night.
Always tired, always confused.
Is this how my life is intended to be?

No mater how long I sleep, I dont feel rested. No matter when I try to go to sleep, I still stay awake far to long. Can't someone come here and knock me to sleep? What truly is needed is for someone to hold me, the one I long for to be there feels way to far away, and in my mind theres a doubt that I will ever feel that person lying next to me ever again. I'm afraid that 'they' have succeeded in their plan to make all we had go away.
What will happen to us if we are torn appart? I dont want to think of it like that, but those are the thoughts that keep me awake at night. Atleast some of the thoughts.. I wouldn't dare to tell everything here. Thats just for me to know, and for you to hopefully never find out. With a few exeptions, you know who you are..

I'm happy to state that my order i placed about three months ago finally has arrived.
Got a bit more expensive then I thought but it's still not that bad. If anyone cares i can put out pictures of the shoes... Strange how such items can make you so happy... Might be cause I don't get to go on a shopping spree that often... ;-)

Take care my faithful readers, all three of you...

---

"Never shall innocent blood be shed.
Yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river.
The three shall spread their blackened wings
and be the vengeful striking hammer of god.
And shepherds we shall be,
for thee my lord for thee.
Power hath decended forth from thy hand
so our feet may swiftly carry out thy command.
And we shall flow a river forth to thee
and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
When I raise my flashing sword,
and my hand takes hold in judgment,
I will take vengance upon my enemies
and I shall repay thos who have hazed me.
Oh Lord, raise me to thy right hand
and count me among thy saints.
In nomine Patris,
et Filii,
et Spiritus Sancti"

And daddy tells me, that even angels fall.
Sometimes when it's quiet, I can hear them call.