My empty world of thoughts. "I Am, and always will be my own thinking soul.
But i dont feel well, if I'm not allowed to belong to someone else." -Jezz 990708
Well, I've been kinda semi-away for a while... And I think that there's a plan, not sure of how it will look like yet... The solution might involve me moving to a bigger city. That or moving to a bigger apartment. And since I refuse to move into another apartment, that only means that I have to get a house to move into. Not sure yet how it will be... But changes has to be made around here if I will ever be able to get my life sorted out.
In other news, I've managed to get one of my friends interested in getting a HTC (Dopod) mobile phone, have to chat with my friend 'mcutecat' about that as soon as she comes online again. Sheesh these time difference.. And met a friend that I had wanted to meet up with for a long, I enjoyed the meeting & the places we visited among the way, and I hope she also had fun, hope to see you again soon. But then more "in person" then this first time.
You told me you where coming home. Told that all would be ours. That we would be free from cares. Together in each others arms. Forever tied up by your will. Never lost to wonder alone again. For this world was for us.
The promises made to last. The promise laid to grasp. Her voice so close to my ear. Forever in this bond my dear.
You told me you where not going to let me go. Told me our love never could be sold. That we would be forever. Never wanting to let go. Awaiting your every move. Longing for your joyful mood.
The promises made to last. The promise laid to grasp. Her voice so close to my ear. Forever in this bond my dear.
Your promises was never ment to last. You shed all kinds of darkness on our past. Your promises was never ment to last. You're forever to far away fro my grasp. Your promises was never ment to last. You're the original fake. Your promises was only made to brake.
You said that things would go well, instead you sent me to hell. Your promises was never ment to last. Never ment to last.
Hanging of this cliff close to mine. The arms to weak to climb. Thoughts raging blind. Lost my angel wings this time. Time only numbs my mind.
Your promises.... where never ment to last.... Forever you shed darkness on my past.
Well.... This afternoon didn't start as predicted... Why does life have to tease me? Isn't it enough that my world is in ruins and has been for over a year now? Cant something change to the positive for me just once? Or do I have to suffer like always, only feel a shimmer of hope only to get struck down again, plummeting downwards in this endless hole. They say, behave or you will go to hell, be good and come to heaven.... How can "they" be so sure that this world we live in now, isn't the very hell "they" spoke of? Just an endless line full of disappointments..
My Dark Angel
I Know what I want. I Know what I need. But this world wont let me be. Only lets me bleed. Only lets me pleed. Come save me please?!
Bah! Never again, never this pain. Everything remains the same. What keeps me sane? You perhaps? Or is it me? Or the thing inside of me? What will it be? Only time will get to see. Empty promises, empty hugs. Feels like I cant ever hug you enough. Cause there's no one there, ever to feel me here. Only thing left is my lost soul empty to wander someplace over there.
Empty heart, empty faces. Dying mind that keeps on fading. All these tears I hide. All these pain that I subside. I just can't stand all this agony this world provide. So I hide inside.
Failed, loved, and loured - my story.
How can I succeed in this mess? How can I end to bleed regress. If there's a way, it will wake my interest. If there's another way, out of this pest.
Can you let me make one wish? Let this dark angel arrive, and carry me away from this mess. Let here be notling left, nothing for anyone else to digest.
My dark angel. Wish I could give you all my love. Wish I could offer you my life. Wish I could be your's forever. Wish I could stay in your arms. Wish I could carry you with me in my heart. Wish I could be your world. Wish I could touch your beautiful soul. Wish I could be as beautiful as you. Wish I could surrender my life, give it all to you. My dark angel.
//Jezz 20080605
Type O Negative - My Girlfriend's Girlfriend
All for now, best regards from Ms Jezz to you all..
Betrayed This say it all. To leave the pictures on the wall. Forever plummet & fall. Seems like noone ever will hear your call.
You saw my hell. Promised no to tell. However you decided it was worth to sell. Threw me into the cell.
Betrayed my trust, aged chains covered in rust. Your eyes fooled me twice, you locked me in ice. Claimed my soul, lost all my goals. Shivering cold, halo embedded in gold. All my life is sold.
Longed for your touch. Now I don't feel much. Numb and out of reach. My figure in the mirror is bleached.
Blood flows through. Stings like acid tho. Thoughts black like a crow. Just want to get away from it all now.
Betrayed my trust, aged chains covered in rust. Your eyes fooled me twice, you locked me in ice. Claimed my soul, lost all my goals. Shivering cold, halo embedded in gold. All my life is sold.
//Jezz 20080601
Just trapped beneath this hidious shell.
Something is going on, I can feel it... Am just going insane not to know what the future will tell, or it's just that I'm going straight to hell..
This says it all:
Kosheen - Not Enough Love
Lyrics:
There's not enough, enough love Enough thought for anybody Tight as a drum Sharp as they come There's not enough love for anybody Say it, play it tough It's gonna be, it's gonna be Rough and ready when you're thrown into touch There's never enough love for anybody Not enough, enough love Enough thought for anybody Thight as a drum Sharp as they come There's not enough love for anybody Not enough love
Not enough love
There's not enough, enough love Enough thought for anybody Tight as a drum Sharp as they come There's not enough love for anybody Now it's down to us, not to rush Not to push it's fragile, carefully We fall into line, children first When it gets to us, there just isn't any Not enough love, enough love Enough thought for anybody Tight as a drum Sharp as they come There's not enough love for anybody Not enough love Not enough love
